Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
