And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
