idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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