I accidentally had phone sex last night
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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