so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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