The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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