your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
