I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
