i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
