We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I die, sorry about rent.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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