And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
