I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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