i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
