That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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