We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
