Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
