I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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