Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
