quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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