Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
