I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
