he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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