i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
