Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
