tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
