Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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