Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
