Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this boner is exhausting
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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