My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
