you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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