Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wear drunk well.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
