am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
