Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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