i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
