Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
