and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
