dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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