For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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