Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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