anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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