You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
