Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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