I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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