4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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