There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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