and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
