Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
BRING THE BAGELS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
