Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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