I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
