i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
