i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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