So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
