he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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